{"id":1069,"date":"2022-05-10T12:04:22","date_gmt":"2022-05-10T16:04:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/masfec.org\/?p=1069"},"modified":"2022-05-10T12:04:22","modified_gmt":"2022-05-10T16:04:22","slug":"talking-about-relationships-in-middle-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/masfec.org\/zh\/talking-about-relationships-in-middle-school\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking About Relationships in Middle School"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\"YellowAs children enter the teen years, caregivers often grow nervous about the prospect of forced conversations about sexual and reproductive health. While such discussions are vitally important, equally crucial \u2013 and frequently overlooked \u2013 are conversations about relationship health. Many young people have their first romantic relationships in middle school, making this the perfect time to build self-advocacy skills, and to start conversations about recognizing and stopping abuse. Here are a few ways to talk to your child about healthy relationships, and to open the door for future honest conversations.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Point out positive relationship patterns.<\/strong> Help your child recognize specific examples of healthy relationships in your family and community. This does not have to be a long conversation; it can simply be a statement of fact. You might say something like, \u201cIsn\u2019t it great that your uncle goes to all of your aunt\u2019s voice recitals? He\u2019s so supportive of her passion.\u201d Or, \u201cI really like how your friend took the time to talk to their girlfriend. It\u2019s so important to be an active listener, especially in romantic relationships.\u201d As much as possible, include non-heterosexual relationships in your examples. If you, yourself, are not partnered, don\u2019t worry: it\u2019s also productive to talk to your child about what you look for in a partner, or why your past relationships didn\u2019t have the positive traits you needed.<\/li>\n
  2. Point out negative relationship patterns.<\/strong> The media is full of unrealistic and, at times, abusive relationships. When watching movies or television shows, point these out to your child. (If you don\u2019t want to ruin the experience of co-watching, you can always talk about it afterwards!) You might say something like, \u201cI didn\u2019t like how that character pretended to be someone else, but still ended up with the girl at the end. Relationships should be honest.\u201d Try to solicit your child\u2019s opinion as well. Do so by asking questions like, \u201cWhat did you think about the fact that one character cheated on another character? What would you do in that situation?\u201d Helping children think critically about abuse will not only help them stay out of toxic relationships, it will also help them be better partners themselves.<\/li>\n
  3. Talk explicitly about consent. <\/strong>Talk to your child about the importance of asking for consent before initiating any kind of physical touch. Model this by asking your child before you show them physical affection, in public or otherwise. Make sure that they know that they can always say no to unwanted touch, even from authority figures or from friends.<\/li>\n
  4. Talk explicitly about values. <\/strong>Have conversations with your child about what your family cares about, and how you act on it. While watching a TV, you might say something like, \u201cThe character in this show lied to their parents. In our family, we value honesty.\u201d Or you might say, \u201cThis politician went back on their campaign promises. In this family, we honor our promises.\u201d Talking generally about what you expect from your child not only instills in them a sense of what kind of partner they should be, it also helps them clarify what they need \u2013 and deserve \u2013 in a partner.<\/li>\n
  5. \"GroupFoster self-acceptance.<\/strong> In middle school, young people go through massive transitions that can significantly alter their sense of self. Help young people appreciate who they are, and to expect others to do the same. You might say things like, \u201cI don\u2019t think friends should make fun of each other for being afraid of something. Fears make you who you are. They don\u2019t make you less special or cool or valuable.\u201d Encourage your child to (safely) pursue their interests, even if their friends don\u2019t share them. Model self-acceptance whenever you can by forgiving yourself for mistakes, or embracing your appearance. You may say something like, \u201cThese jeans used to fit me, but now they don\u2019t. I don\u2019t mind though \u2013 bodies change, and I like how I look now.\u201d Or, \u201cI said something hurtful to a friend. Luckily, I was able to apologize. I learned a lot from my mistake.\u201d Show your kids that we are all fine the way we are, and that anyone who cannot accept us wholly probably doesn\u2019t deserve our romantic attention.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n\n\t\t

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    <\/div>\n\t\t<\/div> \n\t\t
    \n\t\t\tMathangi Subramanian, Ed.D., believes stories have the power to change the world. Her middle grades book, Dear Mrs. Naidu, won the South Asia Book Award, and her picture book A Butterfly Smile was inducted into the Nobel Museum by Laureate Dr. Esther Duflo. Her novel A People\u2019s History of Heaven was longlisted for the PEN\/Faulkner award, a finalist for the LAMBDA literary award, and named a Skipping Stones Honors Book. A former public school teacher, senior policy analyst at the New York City Council, and Fulbright Scholar, she currently consults for Sesame Workshop. She holds a doctorate in education from Columbia Teachers College.\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    As children enter the teen years, caregivers often grow nervous about the prospect of forced conversations about sexual and reproductive health. While such discussions are vitally important, equally crucial \u2013 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